StoryCorps: A "coming out" story, with a twist

Cristy Chung is fully aware of how long the fight for same-sex marriage has been going on – in 2005, she was one of the plaintiffs in Woo v. Lockyer – that’s the lawsuit that overturned California’s original ban on gay marriage.

But of the many people Chung has opened up to about her orientation and her desire to raise a family with another woman, none has left her quite as speechless as her own mother.

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CRISTY CHUNG: It was like spring of my first year in college, and I had been thinking about how my mom had separated from my dad. So I went home for spring break or somewhere around there, maybe it was even more like closer to Mother's Day. And I went home, just to spend some time with her, and we were sitting on her bed and I just said, "Okay mom, I have to ask you something."

And she said, "Okay, I have to ask you something too."

And I said, "Okay, well first let me tell you my news."

And I said, "So, I just want you to know that I really love women, and that I'm a lesbian."

She goes, "I am too! And Geri, who I've been hanging out with, is my lover!"

And I'm like, "Oh my god, that's incredible!"

So our conversation was this mix of total excitement that we could tell each other about it, and then all of a sudden she got really sad. And she said, "You know, well, I'm sad for you because I'm grown up and I've had this long life and I got to have kids and I got to get married, and you're not going to have any of that."

And I just looked at her like, "Really? Yeah I am!"

So like generationally, she felt like in order to have a family, you had to be with a man first and then you could be with women. And I was just like, "Oh mom, you have no idea! I'm going to have kids, what are you talking about? I'm just going to have them with a woman!"

And biologically, I did. I have two other stepchildren with another woman, and so we have three children between us. You know, I want them to really be able to stand up for themselves, so I really, I just really want them to grow up to feel like they can be whoever they are. 

This piece was edited by KALW's Mitzi Mock and recorded at the StoryCorps Booth at the Contemporary Jewish Museum in downtown San Francisco. Click here for more information on how you can be part of StoryCorps.

This story originally aired on August 11, 2010.